I’m lying in a place between spiritual awakening and mindful discontentness

I feel like I’ve never felt one thing, one sound, one sight.

My entire life.

I just don’t know what it means to know what you feel, because life is filled with so many layers. I want to do things right now.

I think it kind of ties into it, I am never content with what I have and then suddenly I’m so excited about every little part of my life. I always want to do more, be more, have more. But in the long run, all I really want is for people to connect with me and have amazing experiences framing my days.

I guess my infinite struggle is that I don’t have an end goal, I only have a journey and so it’s hard to process at what level I am supposed to reach satisfaction.

I should be satisfied everyday of my life if I know I’m producing art and if I know I’m continuing to reach out and grab the image of who I am in my head. But I’m not, I want to do more, be more, feel more, laugh more.

The more I think about this, the more I realize I want more life, but if I had more time it would be less meaningful to have these experiences.

So, as they say happiness is loving exactly what you have and all of its imperfections.


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